Really!?: Double Negative Cut Card Signatures

I know Denny Martinez. I met Denny Martinez. and sir, this is no way to treat
Mr. Denny Martinez.
This is worse than worse. This is an April Fool's joke, this is real, this is red rocks. this is the edge. It all gets worse from here. Things fall apart.
No! Bad card, badcardmaker!! I mean look at this frankenf88cker...the left corners are rounded, the right? not. It's a Tristar product containing a chopped topps card. ...question is, why wouldn't one send their full-size 1979 Topps Denny Martinez to the man himself like some other guy did before they bought the card from him, chopped it, and stuck it to some of thier own cardboards to create the most hideous freak I have encountered.
Still better than a Topps Certified Blinder errr.. sticker...